Rise above the storm

Time for a bit of honesty. Yesterday and today I’ve had a horrid headache. πŸ˜£πŸ™…β€β™€οΈThe kind of tension headache that radiates across the eyebrows and goes to the back of my head and down my neck.

For me this is a sure sign that my period is on its way and we have not been successful this month. (That and a few spots on my face and a bloated and achey feeling in my uterus). I woke up early with an overwhelming sense of despair. β£πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ
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The weather today being dark outside and raining seems to mirror the gloom I feel. I didn’t want to get up and face what is inevitably going to be a day of doing things to distract myself but my mind and body are ever aware of waiting for my period to arrive. Somehow even with all these signs I find the tiny ray of hope and strength to tell myself it’s not over til it definitely arrives but experience overshadows this with ‘ don’t kid yourself you’ve been here so many times before’. ⁣
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This is my storm. β›ˆ The storm of 9 years of monthly disappointments. I also have a storm of grief that is always there in the background of my 24 week twin pregnancy loss.πŸ’”πŸ’” There is also a raging fear that comes with it that says ‘maybe that’s it for me and I won’t ever be pregnant again’. ⁣
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I know that I need to and will very soon rise above the storm. I know that soon I will find the sunshine whether that be the sunshine of hope or even the miracle of a baby. ⁣🌞
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For now though I’m being open and raw with you about the storm as this where I am at. I know that these are the kind of storms so many of you have to face. You are not alone. ⁣
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What storm are you facing today?

3 thoughts on “Rise above the storm

  1. Tanya says:

    It takes a brave person to admit they are caught up in a storm. I’m deeply sorry for your loss. While I can’t imagine what you must be going through with the pressure of pregnancy constantly looming above your head, let me tell you that I too turn into a total mess before I get my period. So you’re not alone there. πŸ˜„ Sending you love and strength. πŸ’—

    Liked by 1 person

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